Monday, July 20, 2009

Vince Kicks Caffeine, Pepsi Goes Bankrupt

It took two solid weeks of head-pounding, nail-biting cold turkey, but I finally managed to break the iron grip of a life-long caffeine addiction. That's right, in just over a fortnight I've gone from loud and annoying to tranquil and boring.

The shaky hands and sleepless nights never bothered me much, but recent studies have suggested that even the fake sugar in my sweet, beloved Diet Pepsi could make me more susceptible to all kinds of horrible things like weight gain and diabetes. Is this just the anti-sweetener lobby pushing propaganda? Will Pepsi send me a free case of diet soda for mentioning their product in my blog? All I know is that the money I'm saving by not buying those 8 cans a day will fund my next computer purchase.

Short term benefits? Surprisingly, when I wake up in the morning now I don't feel like sinister dwarves have been hitting me with mallets all night, and I don't stagger to the fridge with a crippling need for my breakfast soda. I feel relaxed and more focused. Who knew?

Does this mean that if you see me with a Diet Pepsi you're allowed to slap it out of my hand or tackle me to the ground? No. Life is not always a Flintstones cartoon. But if we're out and you want to buy me a drink, make it water. The bartenders will absolutely love you. -v

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